Viva Forever
by xX-Misty
Summary: Missing scene/mini-fic spin off from Looking for Love. Features Alex paired with a female OC, please don't read if that offends you in any way. Alex heads out for her 'something blue' two days before her wedding, but thanks to an unexpected heart to heart with Gene things take an unexpected turn
1. Something Borrowed

**A/N: There is no point in writing if it's not for your own enjoyment, right? Well, this is extremely self-indulgent and written with a dual purpose, firstly as an escape from a really rough time, and secondly to fulfil shippy cravings that I've been desperate to write again. **

**Guys honestly, this can be as canon as you want. If it's not your thing, if you don't like the idea of it, just ignore it. Pretend it doesn't exist, it's not a problem, I don't mind, I promise! I thought I was committing fic suicide writing this subject before and it was surprisingly well received so I'm putting this out there for anyone who is happy to read it.**

**OK, disclaimers afoot – Obviously A2A isn't mine. Warning that this is lesbian smut featuring Alex and an OC (oh my goodness, I wonder whoever that could be :P) – if you don't like it then don't read it, the next chapter of my main fic will be up on saturday and you will be missing nothing by ignoring this, I promise :)**

**Huge thanks to Jess for helping me with titles AGAIN! and making me ship this even harder than I already did, and dedicated to Steph for all the love, care and patience she gives me, I love you sweetheart x x x**

**~xXx~**

**Something Borrowed**

It would have been an understatement to say that Alex had butterflies in her tummy.

She couldn't believe how nervous she felt as she stood outside of the studio, waiting for Kim to open the door and let her in. She closed her eyes and took in a slow, long, deep breath to try to calm down the nervous churning inside of her.

"_You know what to expect, you've had tattoos before,_" she whispered to herself but she realised she was only trying to cover up. The tattoo wasn't the reason for her nervousness. Why was she even covering up anyway? No one else even knew she was nervous, let alone _why_. What was she doing, standing outside of the tattoos studio, lying to herself? It's not like the general public walking past could read her mind.

Why wasn't Kim answering the door? Wasn't she there yet? She bit on her lip and looked around nervously, then realised it might help if she'd remembered to knock on the door first. Rolling her eyes at her own stupidity, she reached out and gave a firm, fast knock, then stepped back and waited.

The five seconds it took for Kim to get to the door were filled with anxiety. Did she look OK? Was her hair alright? Did she have garlic on her breath? What about her outfit? Was her top low enough? Was it _too_ low? Was she being too obvious? What about her perfume? Was it too pungent? Oh _god_, she was almost killing herself with the questions.

"Stop it, Alex," she admonished herself before her heart gave a jolt at the sight of Kim as she appeared at the door, opening it wide to welcome her in with the kind of smile that Kim only used on extremely special occasions. In fact, Alex felt sure that Kim only saved them for Robin. Well, maybe Robin and herself.

"Ma'am, come in," Kim smiled, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand to push her fringe to one side. She stepped back to allow Alex past.

"I'm not late, am I?" Alex asked a little nervously, unsure how long she was standing outside after forgetting to knock on the door but Kim shook her head.

"Nope, right on time," she said as she walked swiftly along to the back of the studio, "I hope you don't mind waiting a moment, I just need to finish getting ready." She grasped an apron and threw it over her head as she led Alex into the cooler, air conditioned studio, "I wasn't expecting to do this until tomorrow."

Alex bit her lip with a slightly guilty smile.

"I'm so sorry I brought things forward without warning," she apologised, "I just thought after Gene decided to twist the knife it was a good time to teach him a lesson."

"You won't have any complaints from me, Kim smiled, settling herself down and lining up a few little pots for ink. She nodded to the table. "Take off your shoes and climb up, Ma'am," she said.

"This is the _last_ place you should be calling me 'Ma'am'," Alex commented warmly and saw a beautiful smile light up Kim's face. _God_, she was beautiful when she smiled. She smiled with her eyes and showed it so rarely that those who were treated to a smile were blessed indeed.

It was refreshing to see Kim in her natural habitat. She loved her work at Fenchurch East of course, but seeing her in the studio - inspired and creative - Kim seemed to really come to life.

"Right," she reached for a sheet of paper with the design she'd drawn out on Alex's request, "here's the finished tattoo. Is this all OK with you?"

Alex smiled and nodded.

"It's beautiful, Kim, just beautiful," she said. The design had been on her mind for some time. She knew what she wanted but wasn't quite sure how to make it look the way she saw in her mind: myriad forget-me-nots trailing up her side, one for each of the souls that she and Gene had seen pass on their way from the day they'd met.

"OK, I'm about ready," Kim told her, "I've got the transfer here so if you'd just like to..." she froze momentarily, her cheeks turning pink as she continued, "take your shirt off."

Kim wasn't the only one who found her face flushing. Alex found herself biting her lip as she unfastened the buttons of her silk blouse and let it fall from her shoulders.

"OK," she said.

Kim was busily looking at the transfer so as not to creep Alex out by staring.

"OK, lay back and - _Jesus Christ!_" Kim gasped as she finally looked up. She blinked a few times, her heart racing and her face turning a shade darker. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry, ma'am, I," Kim coughed and tried not to stare, "I was expecting you to wear a bra, that's all..."

Alex cleared her throat, slightly embarrassed.

"Oh, I just thought it would get in the way," she said innocently.

Kim made a valiant attempt at calming herself down, ignoring Alex's breasts and staying professional. After all it wasn't the first time she'd seen them. Although that in itself didn't exactly help matters. Her mind wandered to one illicit night, all those months ago, back in a different world. Her mind went back to _that_ place a lot, if she was honesty. In fact, it was difficult to think of anything else whenever she caught a glimpse of Alex from across the car park or passed her by in the corridor. In _fact_, sometimes it was hard to think of anything else, full-stop. She bit her lip and smiled a little coyly. Alex always brought that out in Kim, much to her chagrin. It was not a very Kim-like thing to do. She still felt like a silly school girl with a crush every time she was in Alex's presence.

"Your, um, piercings," Kim coughed slightly, "they look like they've healed well."

"Never had problem with them," Alex said with a smile but there was something about the look on Kim's face that left her suddenly shy. She wasn't sure why at first and then she realised; the glint in her eye reminded her very much of the look upon her face one night, a world away.

For a moment their eyes met and a dangerous tingle passed down Kim's spine. _Ohhh_, what was going on that evening? There was a look in Alex's eye that she'd rarely seen before. In fact, she only remembered seeing it once. _One night._ She knew she was blushing again and had to look away abruptly.

"Let's get started," she said quickly, picking up a spray, "this might be slightly cold, OK?"

"That's fine," Alex told her, lying back and bracing herself for the chill of the liquid. Kim sprayed it liberally over her lower ribcage and pressed the transfer against her skin. A tingle travelled through Alex's body from the touch of Kim's fingertips. It made her smile involuntarily and give a tiny gasp that Kim mistook as a response to the cold spray.

"Sorry about that," she said, "at least it's a warm evening."

As the blood rose to Alex's face and she began to feel hot all over. She felt as though she could barely breath as she whispered,

"it's certainly that."

"Don't worry, ma'am," Kim began, peeling back the transfer and examining the pattern on Alex's skin, "you're an old pro at this now." her eyes were drawn to the tiny pink circle with the single letter 'G' inside of it. She had to smile as she remembered that night, the strange night spent with stowaways in her house. Not that _stowaways_ was the right term, exactly, but she wasn't sure what else to call them. They weren't exactly wanted fugitives but they were certainly hiding for all they were worth.

That was the first night of the rest of her life, she'd come to realise. Everything that happened to her came as a result of the day that Alex and Robin arrived in the middle of a regular day of work and delivered the _police dog_ line.

Kim's line of vision settled on some more ink, an unfamiliar piece that Alex had mentioned but Kim had yet to see. There is was, justabove her right hip; two dragons to symbolise the two daughters she loved and missed with every beat of her heart. Robin had been the one to design it for her. While his talent wasn't as raw and spontaneous as Kim's he certainly had a hidden artistic side.

"This is really beautiful," Kim whispered, unaware of how the brushing of her finger tips over the tattoo sent exquisite shockwaves thorough Alex's body that ended with a wild pulsing between her legs. She squirmed a little as she tried to focus on Kim's statement.

"I know," she said, smiling nervously, "you should really encourage Robin more with his art."

"Oh, I've tried, Ma'am," believe me," Kim sighed, "but there was a '_trauma'."_

"Oh," Alex nodded knowingly, "there always is."

"Something to do with phthalo blue and being lucky to regain his sight," Kim went on to explain, "but at least he seems willing to brave his fear when it comes to tattoos."

"I love it," Alex said, peering down at her dragons, "I only wish you'd been here to do the ink."

Kim looked at Alex, a tinge of sadness in her eye.

"_Me too,"_ she whispered.

She closed her eyes momentarily as a lump rose to her throat. _Great_, this was a _wonderful_ time for tears, wasn't it? She took a deep breath and worked hard at fighting the sadness that washed over her when she thought about those dark months after Alex and Robin had both died and Kim was left alone in an unforgiving world, slowly rotting away in despair. She had to focus on the task ahead. "Alright,"she whispered, getting ready to begin, "just lie back and relax as much as you can, ma'am, OK?" she watched Alex nodding. "If you need to take a break just tell me."

"OK," Alex nodded. She drew in her breath, closed her eyes and waited for the feeling of the needle against her skin. She had to admit there were some slight nerves there. She might have had two tattoos already but there was still a moment of anxiety as Kim prepared to start. But as soon as the sound of the needle began and she felt that unique sensation of the ink burying itself below her skin she relaxed. It was familiar now. She knew what to expect.

So why, she questioned, were the butterflies growing stronger rather than fading away? As her eyes turned to the side and she focused on Kim's face, the concentration splashed across her features as she worked, she finally admitted to herself what the nerves were actually about. Oh goodness, those butterflies were getting lively. In fact when was the last time she'd felt this nervous? When was the last time _anyone_ had put butterflies like this in her belly? The vibration of the needle against her ribs just seemed to stir them up more. No, wait, it wasn't the feeling of the needle, it was the feeling of Kim's hand. _Shit_, she hadn't expected to feel this way, not at all. It wasn't as though she hadn't been getting those strange flutters in her tummy and double-speed heartbeats when she looked at Kim before, but in the past she'd never had something she had this time. The one thing that made all the difference.

_Permission._

**~xXx~**

**An Hour Earlier**

"This _something blue..._"

Alex glanced up from her make up bag and saw a slightly grumpy Gene staring at her over his latte

"Yes?" she asked.

Gene slurped from his cup.

"How _blue_ is it, exactly?"

Alex smirked a little and tried to hide it away.

"Oh, _very_ blue," she told him, glancing back to see him looking increasingly red-faced, "and a little bit yellow." she paused, "and maybe a little bit green as well." She saw his brain half-melting at the thought of processing the riddle and decided to put him out of his misery. "You can rest easy, Gene," she said, "I'm getting a tattoo. That's all."

Gene stared at her.

"A tattoo?" he repeated.

"It's a surprise," she told him, "you're not allowed to see it until after the wedding. So if you want a quickie before then we'll have to do it with the lights off, OK?"

Gene continued to stare at Alex and for a moment she thought he might be broken. Maybe his batteries had run out? No, that was only applicable to his Buzz Lightyear. She was on the verge of waving a hand in front of his face to get his attention when he suddenly said,

"I thought you were going to sow some wild oats before you sign yer life away."

Alex turned back to the mirror and began to apply some mascara.

"Well, to be honest, Gene," she began, "I don't exactly have any oats to sow."

"Sunflowers to pollinate then," Gene suggested, "snowdrops to syphon. Whatever the bird-on-bird version is of sowing oats."

"Classy as ever, Gene," Alex told him as she laid down her make-up and reached for the perfume.

Gene set down his latte and took a seat on the bed, directly behind her, looking her in the eye through her reflection. He was twitching nervously and shuffling uncomfortably. _For god's sake, _he told hiself, _spit it out before Bolly thinks you've got a rash on yer arse._

"Did you ever sow many wild oats in yer life, Bolls?" he asked eventually and she glanced over her shoulder.

"My illustrious sexual career, you mean?" she raised an eyebrow, "You, Peter and a gentleman who could only reach arousal at the sound of a tornado siren." she gave a very deep sigh. "And then there was a yuppie who _may_ have been wearing red braces but -"

"You seem to have missed someone off yer list," Gene pointed out and Alex hesitated a little guiltily.

"Kim," she said awkwardly, "as you are well aware. I didn't know whether you required me to compile a separate list for _bird on bird shenanigans."_

"Why, has there been more?" Gene asked, not sure whether to be hopeful or distressed at the thought.

Alex bit her lip.

"Well, no," she said quietly.

"And," Gene asked uncomfortably, "would you have liked a longer list?"

"If you're asking me if I want to go round propositioning the female members of Fenchurch East then no," Alex told him, spraying herself liberally with perfume for a second time. _Too much?_ she wondered. _Oh well, too late now._ She noticed a surprisingly thoughtful look on Gene's face. It was unfair to imagine that time wouldn't change him. Seventeen years they'd been together. While Gene still had a sharp tongue and a way with words that would make a sailor blush he was a lot more contemplative than he once was a long time ago. "Uh oh," Alex began, "I don't like that look."

Gene didn't comment.

"A wise young woman once told me I was on a bloody learning curve," he said eventually.

Alex wasn't sure how she was supposed to respond to that.

"A what? Sorry?" She felt like she'd missed something.

"You know me, Bols. I'm the old fashioned sort. Once upon a time every copper in the place was as straight as a bloody Roman road. Now they're as straight as an eight."

"To be fair I don't think _every_ copper was ever as straight as a Roman road," Alex pointed out, checking her lipstick for smudges one last time.

"Like who?"

"Well Shaz," Alex pointed out, "she's bisexual, Gene. It was just your good luck that the Shaz _we_ knew... she somehow..." Alex pulled a face, unsure quite how it happened, "found herself falling for Chris's charms."

"- Such as they were," Gene interjected.

"She's attracted to both genders," Alex sighed, "in _this_ world, she met Kim, and then Marci." she stood up and sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair to make sure it was just right. "and then there was Ray."

"Say what you like about Ray but I've heard things about him and the colander woman with the fat arse that would make yer eyeballs spin," Gene barked.

"Do you not think he was overcompensating just a_ little?"_ Alex asked wearily but the look on Gene's face told her to drop it. "Never mind. Have it your way. Straight as a packet of straws." she picked up her handbag and walked past Gene, whispering as she went, _"bendy straws."_

Gene found himself chewing his lip. Oh _god_, had the Batman curse really affected him as well? He leaned against the door as he asked suddenly,

"Is that including you?" He watched as Alex stopped and glanced back at him. "You one of me bendy straws an' all?" he saw Alex looking a little uncomfortable. "Or is it all that metal that makes Stringer so magnetic she just attracts random odds and sods?"

Alex's face grew serious and straight. No jokes, no sarcasm, just honesty.

"I don't know," she said quietly.

Gene hesitated. He hadn't even been sure if she was going to reply.

"You do a good job of avoiding answering that question every time," he pointed out.

"That's because I don't know what to tell you," Alex said quietly, "If I could tell you, I would."

"_Would_ you?" Gene asked. He didn't seem convinced. "See, I've had a few words to say about..." he tried to think of a politically correct term and failed, "members of the dungaree brigade." he watched Alex cringing, "that's where Stringer's words of wisdom came in. I asked if it was me punishment." He felt for his flask just in case he needed it, "for some of me prior views. Having a team full o' rainbows. She asked me if it _felt_ like a punishment."

Alex waited for him to carry on.

"And did it?"

Gene looked down at his foot for a moment.

"Nope," he said, "Few years ago it might have done."

"You've grown up. Gene," Alex nodded, "I'm proud of you."

"Now it turns out I've _always_ had a team of bloody rainbows," Gene decided this was a good time for scotch and took a swig, "Are you part of those stats or not, Lady B?"

Alex looked down for a moment. Somehow this was something she still felt uncomfortable discussing.

"Well," she said, a little anxiously, "I suppose we all question our sexuality at some point, don't we?" She saw his face cloud over and, rolling her eyes, she added, "obviously everyone apart from _you_..." she sighed and shook her head, "I suppose there were a few harmless crushes in the past..."

"I've seen you cross and uncross yer legs a few times when Scully comes on the bloody X-Files for a start," Gene commented and Alex felt herself blushing.

"Yes, _thank_ you," she said quickly. She gave a sigh. "I met Peter when I was young and I suppose I never really had the chance to..." she shrugged, "_experiment_. After Peter left me I was a single mum trying to bring up a young child and develop my career, and I didn't have a lot of time for romance, then when I finally tried to go on a date or two I'd been used to having a man as a partner so I didn't think to question it. It didn't occur to me there was another option, and anyway I hadn't met a woman who -" she trailed away as quite suddenly she realised she was actually talking about this with Gene. _Gene_, of all people! What had possessed her to open up to him at last? She felt uncomfortable suddenly and clammed up but Gene was determined to make her carry on. It had taken long enough for her to get that far.

"Who what?" he asked as he saw he look down.

"Who," she swallowed, unsure of herself, "who made me feel..." she coughed, "_things_."

Gene sipped more of his scotch.

"_Things?"_

Alex looked down.

"Don't make me spell it out," she said uncomfortably.

"Things like you might see in a quality top-shelf offering such as _Intergalactic Space Lesbians from Mars?"_ Gene asked and noticed a slightly unhappy look on Alex's face.

"Yes," she said crossly, "if your idea of arousal is watching your partner's nipples turn green." She shook her head and sighed, "if you're asking whether a woman has the ability to turn me on then -" she almost exploded, tired of tiptoeing around it, "then _yes_, Gene. Yes, they do. I suppose I'm nowhere _near_ as split down the middle as, say, someone like Shaz or Marci. But perhaps I'm also not to the extent where an attraction to someone of a different gender than my... usual preference... is something of a complete shock like it was to Robin and Kim. Perhaps I'm a two on the Kinsey scale."

Gene blinked a few times, unable to take in so much information and also slightly trying to hide the rather physical reaction to Alex announcing that she found women attractive. He also didn't have the faintest idea what the Kinsey scale was.

"Blimey, I didn't realise earthquakes were caused by bloody poofs an' all," he mumbled to a withering glance.

"_Not_ the Richter scale, as you well know." Alex sighed and shook her head. "There. I suppose that's your answer." she sighed, "_my_ answer. I suppose I have admitted that I _sometimes_ find myself attracted to women as well as men." She spotted Gene reaching for a cushion. "Oh, _subtle_, Gene!" she commented.

Gene tried not to pull a face. He adjusted his cushion, thought for a moment, looked her in the eye and began.

"Alright, Drake," his official tone surprised Alex somewhat, "let's get the ground rules straight."

"What ground rules?" Alex frowned.

"Number one, I want a two-thousand word essay on yer favourite spice girl and reasons why on my desk by tomorrow morning. Six pages. With illustrations." He swigged from his flask again. "And diagrams where appropriate."

Alex stared at him, unsure what to say.

"I -"

Gene hadn't finished.

"Number two," he continued, counting the points off on his fingers, "full descriptions, whispered in me heavenly lug-holes at appropriate moments, with the name of the offending half-robot hybrid changed to Ginger Spice if you are so willing."

Alex stared at Gene.

"What?"

"Number three," Gene continued, "I retain me right to _bonk_ any and all alternative versions of yor good self if I should ever trip the light fantastic into two thousand and bollocks again without complaints or comebacks."

"I don;t -"

"And rule number four," Gene continued, "I've heard about what she's got under her bed and I know where it's been. I'm not getting anywhere near Batman's backdoor, even if it's by proxy. Stick a bloody johnny on it."

Alex had no idea what was going on. She tried all manner of combinations of words but none of them seemed to come out right.

"Gene, I -" she blinked and tried again, "Are you... I mean, it's... I..."

Gene realised he probably needed to help her out.

"And point number five," he continued, "remind Metal Mickey that this might be yer _something blue_ but _you're_ only something _borrowed,_" he prepared his flask for another sip. "back here by midnight. I'm not marrying a bloody pumpkin."

"What pumpkin?" Alex blinked in bewilderment.

Gene rolled his eyes,.

"Bloody hell, and you say _I'm_ slow on the pissing uptake!" he discarded his cushion, put down his flask and pushed Alex towards the stairs. "Go on. Bugger off. Enjoy yer trip to the Isle of Lesbos."

Alex stared at Gene, her mouth open and eyes wide. She couldn't work out whether Gene was being serious or whether this was some sort of _gayness test_ that he was about to start inflicting on his staff but the look on Gene's face of slight curiosity mixed with annoyance at the fact that of all people it was Kim who'd caught Alex's eye showed her his statement had been genuine. Feeling the blood rushing to her face, she did the only thing she could do. Without words to express it, she lunged towards him, threw her arms around his neck and launched her tongue halfway down his throat before he had a chance to respond. Leaving him with a kiss that saw him reaching for a bigger cushion she departed with the widest smile upon her face and a heartbeat that was going almost criminally fast.

She didn't question it. She didn't dare. She couldn't imagine how long it had taken Gene to come to terms with the fact that there was another side to her that she was only just beginning to understand herself. And there had been many _moments _on the run-up to their conversation. Neither of them would deny that. She remembered Gene's gesture of mistletoe at christmas to sneak a quick kiss with Kim, and of course the date bet, even though he'd attempted to sabotage it – but that was more to do with his pride at losing a bet than about Kim. They _all_ knew that. She knew that tomorrow she was going to have to start working out how to word her Spice Girl essay to fulfil point one of Gene's golden rules. But for tonight she was going to live for the moment. What was going to happen the other side of the tattoo needle, she couldn't say for certain, but her hopes were high. The red glow upon her cheeks showed there was something more than ink on her mind that night.


	2. Something Blue

**Something Blue**

Alex tried to concentrate on anything to settle her nerves – the feel of the needle, the colours lined up on the table, the music in the background. Somehow none of them took her attention away from the matter that was foremost on her mind that night. She felt silly and giddy, like a teenager on her first date. Why was it that Kim had that effect on her? It was even stranger because she knew that of the two of them Kim was always in awe of Alex, always seeing her as the unobtainable older woman she'd had such a crush on all those years ago.

She knew that Kim had long held a candle, but sometimes Alex wasn't sure where it started for her. There'd been that dare, of course. She would be lying if she said she hadn't enjoyed it. But it was just a slightly drunken Christmas dare and Alex had slightly conflicting feelings about having kissed a young Kim when the older woman she'd come to know through the craziest of days in 2011 was playing on her mind.

And then there had been the time she'd spent staying with Kim and Robin after she'd found herself back in the real world for a second time. She knew that spending so much time together had brought them closer still, especially after Robin had been shot...

...But she had to admit that she was only lying to herself if she pretended the thought hadn't crossed her mind long before that.

"_There, that's the outline finished."_

Alex looked up in surprise.

"Oh!" she said, "that was quicker than I anticipated!" she looked down and saw the black lines, ready and waiting for colour.

"Would you like to take a break?" Kim asked, rinsing out the needle.

Alex gave a slightly nervous smile.

"Oh yes _please_," she sighed. It wasn't that she needed a break from the needle, it was more that she needed a break from her thoughts running wild as she felt Kim's expert hands glide over her body. She sat up properly as Kim got to her feet.

"Coffee?" she offered.

"Yes please," Alex smiled, watching Kim walk across to the cosy little kitchen area. She slowly climbed from the table and followed her over while Kim filled the kettle. "Thanks so much for doing this for me, Kim."

"It's my pleasure," Kim said with a smile that made Alex's heart do things that she thought it had forgotten how to do. She leaned against the cabinet and bit on her lip. What did she think she was doing? Imitating Robin to woo Kim? She knew full well that Kim needed little wooing, but that somehow made it more difficult, She didn't want Kim to think she was approaching her for the wrong reasons. Gene's teasing about wild oats had been all very well but what if Kim thought Alex was truly only after one last fling? Oh _god_, was she blushing? Alex caught sight of her reflection in the mirror over the sink and her worst fears were confirmed. She was _definitely_ blushing. She picked up a nearby magazine and tried to fan a little heat from her face as she began awkwardly;

"Is Robin staying with Jake tonight?"

"Yeah, his arm's really messed up," Kim said in concern as she spooned coffee into a couple of mugs, "Rob's going to cook him a good meal and make sure he rests."

"That's good," Alex said, nodding slowly. She took in a deep breath and blurted out her next question before she could change her mind. "How are things going there?" she asked, "I mean, between Robin and Jake."

"Oh, really well, I think," Kim headed to the fridge to collect the milk, "Jake's really nice. It's funny because he's so shy in some ways that Rob has to be the dominant one. I don't mean in bed," Kim was quick to point out, "I mean, I don't know one way or the other," she cringed a little, "I'm not particularly interested in hearing the intricacies! It's bad enough that I now know Jake carries a supply of novelty condoms that will stop bodily fluids travelling across time, space and reality!"

"Gene could have used one of those when he met Simon's mother," Alex commented and despite themselves they couldn't resist laughing.

"Do _not_ let Simon hear you say that!" Kim told her.

"Or Gene for that matter," Alex added. Her smile and laughter seemed to fade somewhat and a nervous look took over her expression again. "So," she cleared her throat, "their... _arrangement_. What do you call it exactly?"

Kim shrugged.

"It... well it is what it is," she said, "it doesn't have a name. They're boyfriends."

Alex nodded thoughtfully as she watched Kim tapping her foot impatiently, waiting for the kettle to boil.

"And it's never caused a problem?" she asked, "you've never been... jealous, or put out in any way?"

"It's just different, Ma'am," Kim shrugged, "it's a different thing to what Rob and I have. I guess we're in an unusual situation. We're both still gay. We mean the world to each other but there's always going to be something I can't give him."

"Yes you can, I've seen you," Alex blanched, still suffering flashbacks to her time staying with the couple.

Kim rolled her eyes but laughed.

"I mean_ emotionally,"_ she explained, "there's the physical side too but," she shook her head. "Rob needed what Jake brings him. And you know Robin, he would never want a cheap one night thing -"

"Unless he was roaring drunk and turned up on my doorstep, telling Gene he always did prefer blondes," Alex pointed out which made Kim laugh.

"Seriously, Ma'am, Rob needed a man in his life and it had to mean something. He needed more than some... _sex_ thing. He needed a boyfriend. Jake was his ideal man."

Alex bit her lip as she swayed nervously from side to side.

"And what about you?" she asked.

"I'm not looking for my ideal man," Kim joked slightly uncomfortably.

"That's not what I mean," Alex said quietly. There was a tense note in her voice as she saw Kim's expression changing. There was a fixed smile upon her lips but the rest of her face seemed to betray her with a sense of sadness and longing.

"Well, you know me," she said sarcastically, "I've got a whole _string_ of potential suitors lining up around the block."

"_Kim_," Alex said quietly but seriously. She didn't like the way that Kim would always put herself down. She wished the girl would realise her value in life. Kim concentrated extremely hard on finishing the drinks and managed not to look at Alex as she said quietly,

"I think I've missed that boat, Ma'am. You know what they say about all the best women." she stirred the coffees, turned and handed one to Alex. "they're all taken, or straight."

Alex tried to smile but her lips weren't co-operating.

"Not necessarily," she said quietly, but Kim seemed subdued and sad. She grasped her mug and began to pace back to her tattooing area.

"Anyway," she began loudly, "we'd better get back to it. We've still got the colour to do and I mustn't keep you here all night. Don;t want you turning into a pumpkin before the wedding, do we?"

"Why is _everyone_ trying to turn me into a bloody _pumpkin_?" Alex frowned.

As she trailed after Kim she cursed herself over and over. _Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK._ How could she have wasted that perfect opportunity? How many times in the last five minutes did she have the ideal cue? And yet she'd wasted each and every one. _Fuck_! Oh _god_, why was this so difficult? Why was she so nervous? Oh _no_, she was blushing again now too, wasn't she? _Fuck!_

"Back on the table," Kim told her and Alex hopped back onto the smooth, black leather. She laid down again, realising that she hadn't felt in the slightest self-conscious about standing topless when she talked to Kim. Why _was_ that? Despite the excited nervous energy she felt whenever she thought about Kim in a certain way she also felt more at ease around her than she had with almost anyone in her life.

And there goes the needle. _Bugger._ Now Alex couldn't even start that conversation. _Shit!_ Why was she so bad at this? Oh, the truth was she'd _always_ been bad at this. For the confidence she'd thrown around her through life when it came to love, sex and dating she still found herself feeling like a nervous teenager. Look how long it had taken her and _Gene_ to get together. Of course they were as bad as one another, but then so were her and Kim.

_Not really your fault though, _she thought togherself as she watched Kim's expression. She knew that Kim had it fixed in her mind that she was the one with the silly crush. Alex had tried hard to hide the fact that the crush was mutual. Maybe she'd hidden it too well.

With each forget-me-not head that Kim expertly filled with subtle tones of blue Alex felt as though she was on a countdown. With each flower filled she lost another opportunity to talk to Kim. With each completed flower she was a moment closer to the last chance she was going to have. _Shit_, this was _hard_. Had it been this difficult the first time? _Their_ first time? How had it happened? She wasn't even sure herself. One minute they'd been talking, emotions and pressure so rife from the awful situation they'd both found themselves in and the next -

Well, the next she remembered her heart racing, her body pulled towards Kim, suddenly needing more than friendship. It was a night born of isolation, sadness and loneliness that was turned around by the dearest friendship, closest companionship and the most tender affection Alex had ever experienced. The bond she and Kim had forged through the intense experiences they'd shared gave their connection a depth that spilled over into a trust that Alex had never felt before in a 'first time', even with Gene.

Her eyes closed and she breathed deeply as she recalled the feel of Kim's lips against hers that night; their softness, almost hesitant. The intensity of their first kiss, and all those which followed. The memory of Kim's gentle touch on her body after months with no intimacy, no love, no passion. The way her fingers felt as they brushed Alex's skin, as they sought out the most sensitive places on her body, carefully exploring new terrain, sending little electric shocks of pleasure through her body. She recalled how quickly she'd moistened between her legs, how desperate she'd been for Kim's touch to move southward, how electrifying every breath against her neck felt as the young blonde attended to her urges and desires.

"_Ma'am, you need to keep still!"_

Alex's eyes flew open in surprise at the sound of Kim's voice. She felt her heart rate heading through the roof and she gasped a little as she tried to bring her mind back to reality.

"What? Sorry," she said quickly.

"Are you uncomfortable?" Kim asked, "do you need to move or walk around?" 

"No, no, I'm fine," Alex frowned, "Why?"

"You keep fidgeting!" Kim told her.

Alex swallowed as she realised that her thighs were somewhat clenched together, a strange pulsing sensation between her legs encouraging her to squirm and wriggle as she longed to reach down and pay true homage to their night together. Oh sweet Jesus, what the _hell_ was she doing? She needed to stop that immediately.

"S-sorry," she tried to cover up for here behaviour, "I suppose my... my bottom was going numb."

"We can stop for a while," Kim offered as Alex cringed. _Nice excuse,_ she congratulated herself, _nice way to impress the woman you can't stop thinking about._ Damnit, she needed a drink. That might help. Maybe Kim had Gene's flask in her pocket? Maybe she could sneak it when she wasn't looking.

"Are you ready to carry on?"

Bugger. Too late now.

Alex closed her eyes and drew in her breath.

"Yes," she said quietly, "I'm ready." Damnit all to Hades, this was _not_ going according to plan. Not that she even _had_ a plan. Damnit, _why_ didn't she have a _plan?_ If only she had a notebook. A notebook, a pen and a list entitled _'Ways to efficiently seduce Kim.'_

She hadn't exactly _needed_ to seduce Kim the first time, she recalled. They had both wanted it badly. They'd each needed the closeness and the passion that they'd been missing, their loved ones on the other side of the line. And it had been one night, that was all it was supposed to be. It never quite went away though.

She lost herself in the sound of the buzzing needle as she recalled the way that Kim's gentle touch took away her nerves and made the experience natural, beautiful and one she would never forget. It wasn't like her first time with a man, with Peter, all fumbling and apologies and mistakes, spillages in places that needed urgent cleaning and more pain than pleasure. No, her first time with a woman couldn't have been more different. But then that could have been because she felt so much closer to Kim than she ever had to Peter, or to _anyone_ but Gene. When Kim looked into her eyes she reached right inside of her mind, took her breath away and set her body on fire.

She could recall every touch, every kiss, every single moment of that night. In fact she _did_. _Often_. She hated to admit how much she thought about it. In recent months it had been happening with increasing frequency. Sometimes in the bathroom, her hand and the shower attachment would wander as she thought about it. Sometimes waiting for Gene to join her in bed she would get a little head start and her head would be full of Kim. Sometimes she'd just catch a glimpse of her across the car park and find herself weak at the knees from the memory. But it was always there, lurking, waiting to sneak up on her and turn her cheeks the shade of a post box.

"Ma'am? Are you sure you're alright?"

Alex's eyes opened again. Oh _god_, she wasn't squirming again was she?

"Fine, I'm fine," she said quickly.

"You look flushed."

Alex flinched.

"Sorry," she whispered, "muggy night."

"I can turn the air conditioning up if you want?" Kim offered but Alex shook her head.

"No, no, I'm fine," she said quickly.

"Well, your tattoo's finished," Kim told her and Alex's eyes bolted with surprise.

"Already?" she asked breathlessly. She looked at the clock. Bloody hell, how had two hours passed that quickly?

"Probably just as well," Kim told her, taking off her apron, "you must be exhausted after the day you've had. And you look as though you've had about enough." 

"What do you mean?" Alex asked as Kim wiped over the area to remove the excess ink.

"The look on your face," Kim told her, "it looked like the last part was a bit of a strain for you."

Alex could feel her face becoming even redder.

"No, I was fine," she said quietly.

"It's not a problem, ma'am, everyone struggles after a while, it's an intense thing," Kim told her, "I mean, apart from pain the only other time I've seen someone with that expression was Rob when he was trying to hide something he shouldn't have been experiencing over me," Kim said, thinking way back to the days before they began their relationship. She gave a slightly uncomfortable giggle, "and I don't think you've got _that_ problem."

"Just because I haven't got the visible equipment doesn't mean I don't have the same problem," Alex blurted before she could stop herself. She froze up momentarily, awaiting Kim's response, worried that she would be horrified but Kim simply looked away with a strained smile.

"Go and look in the mirror so I can dress it for you," she said awkwardly.

Alex rose slowly and turned to Kim. Her heart sinking a shade.

"Why do you find it so hard to believe that someone thinks of you that way?" she whispered and Kim glanced up, her expression nervous.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Every time someone pays you a compliment or says that they... that you..." Alex flinched, desperately trying not to get tongue tied, "you're always putting yourself down rather than believe that someone finds you attractive."

"It's not putting myself down, it's self-deprecating humour," Kim said uncomfortably.

"I wish you wouldn't," Alex whispered. She swallowed when Kim started to look even less comfortable with the situation. "Not when it's coming from me, anyway." She closed her eyes and let her lips spill forth the words that scrambled to run from her mind. "Because I mean them, Kim. I mean every last word and I hate that you would think even for a moment that I don't... that I'm lying or putting it on, or -"

"Ma'am, don't," Kim stood up and turned around quickly, "I'm sorry, I don't want to sound rude, but..." she flinched as her breath seemed to leave her body. "Look, I-I love the... silly flirting sometimes but sometimes..." she closed her eyes. "Look, it doesn't matter, OK?"

"Kim?" Alex got to her feet, "What's wrong?" her heart sank, "What have I done?" She felt clouds forming across the hope that her heart had been sparkling with as Kim's face grew dark and sad. What did she mean? Oh god, no, had she been wrong all this time? What if Kim _wasn't_ the one with the crush any more? Maybe their night had changed things for Kim. Got it out of her system? _Oh no, no, no, please no, not now... _"I-I'm sorry, Kim, I-I thought..." She thought what? She didn't even know how to end that. "I thought... we... _both_ enjoyed it..." she said weakly.

"_Yeah_," Kim said slowly, her eyes fixed upon the ground, "I _do._ Sometimes." she found herself picking at her fingernails as she admitted, "but sometimes it's too painful."

Alex stared at Kim. She could almost feel her heart breaking from her words.

"What?" she whispered.

"Oh _god_, you're going to get offended now or call me stupid or something," Kim tried to hide her face and Alex felt increasingly worried.

"No, Kim, not at all," she moved closer and tried to make Kim look her in the eye. "Please tell me, Kim? Whatever it is... tell me before I start worrying that I've hurt you.

"It's not your fault," Kim said quickly, her expression fraught and emotional in a way she rarely let anyone see, "it's me, I'm stupid and over-sensitive -"

"Kim, what _is_ it?"

Kim closed her eyes and looked down. She knew she'd said to much to back out and leave it there. Otherwise Alex would badger her all night. She hung her head.

"I told you," she whispered, "that I'd always had a-a crush on you." she knew her face was reddening now. She felt so stupid and she knew she was going to regret the words as soon as she'd spoken, "you'd think that... after we..." she finally glanced up to meet Alex's eye just for a second, "_You know..."_ Alex nodded. _She did indeed 'know'._ "...that i's be over that. But I'm not," oh _god_, she felt so embarrassed now. No, _humiliated_ was the word. Kim didn't _do_ crushes. She did girly feelings less often than _Gene_ did! But here she was, admitting to something that she hadn't even admitted to _herself_ before. "And sometimes I _like_ it... when you flirt with me, and it winds Gene up, and it's nice and it makes me feel -" her voice hitched as she admitted something that she wouldn't usually, "- _good_. But sometimes..." she had to pause for breath. She felt sick as she realised she was about to make an admission that she found endlessly difficult, "sometimes it just – _hurts_."

Alex's face drained of colour.

"What?" she whispered.

Kim finally forced herself to look Alex in the eye

"Because that's all it's ever going to be, she whispered, "flirting. And we both... _needed_... that night..." she bit her lip, "but I know that's all it was. I'm not stupid, ma'am, I'm not expecting an encore, but that doesn't mean that I don't sometimes wish..."

Alex stared at Kim as she trailed away.

"Kim, please don't stop there," she whispered. Kim looked up and the expression upon Alex's face caught her by surprise. There was an urgency, a need, an intensity in her eyes. She'd only seen that look once before and it sent the butterflies in her stomach into a spin cycle.

"Oh god, ma'am, don't look at me like that," she whispered, watching as Alex involuntarily ran her tongue around her dry lips. _Oh god, Alex, don't do that, you're driving me crazy._ She found her eyes wandering down to Alex's chest. She'd done such a good job of keeping her eyes on the task at hand all through her tattoo that she only noticed now that Alex's nipples stood out hard and erect, as though trying to convey Alex's arousal where her words were failing. Kim choked and tried to bring her line of sight back to Alex's face. "Sorry," she whispered, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Alex whispered.

Kim didn't even know. She stared Alex in the eye and tried to speak but she didn't know what to say. Her lips moved but no sound emerged. Oh goodness, why was her heart fluttering wildly? She started to feel unsteady as her body trembled at the look in Alex's eyes.

"_Kim,"_ Alex's voice was laden with need as she whispered the words she'd found so hard to say, "_I want you too."_

Kim stared back, barely daring to blink in case Alex was a mirage that would disappear from before her. Those five simple words played endlessly in her mind, over and over in a perpetual loop that made her pulse rocket each and every time. Her mouth opened slightly and she tried again to speak but the only sound that emerged was a breathy gasp as she struggled to stay on her feet. Alex drew closer, the distance between them vanishing inch by inch, her painted lips so close that Kim could almost taste them against her own. Her eyes began to close and her hands trembled as she felt Alex reach out and take one in her own, squeezing it tightly for reassurance. Was this really happening? Was this all a dream?

"Ma'am?" she barely dared to breathe

"I want you too," Alex whispered again, her breath dancing across Kim's lips before a moment later hers were drawn to them magnetically, the attraction between the two women proving too strong to keep them apart. With her body trembling, Kim felt herself melt into their kiss, the kiss she'd been dreaming if since the last they'd shared such a precious moment on Alex's doorstep some months ago; a kiss so quick and unexpected that Kim had barely been able to contribute to the moment. That wasn't a mistake she was planning to repeat this time around.

It took all of Kim's strength and self control to stay upright as her whole body tinged and her legs felt like they could give way at any moment. She could feel Alex sliding her fingers through her hair, pulling her closer as their kiss deepened and before she knew it she was sucking against Alex's lips, sliding her tongue around them, dipping into her mouth and drawing away whatever was left of Alex's breath and with it her self control. She heard Alex groan needfully and in an instant her underwear dampened. _Shit_, her body felt on _fire_.

She reached around Alex and laid her palms against her back, pulling her closer, feeling her body pressed against her own. She could feel Alex's breasts pressing up against her, the metal of her piercings something Kim was more used to wearing than to feeling from somebody else. Now _this_ was a kiss. This was a _real_ kiss; not a moment taken by surprise or a one-off offering under the mistletoe, this was a kiss that would keep her warm on cold winter nights, one that would bring a glow to her cheeks every time she caught sight of Alex across the room, one that would have her reaching under the bed night after night.

As the kiss continued, feeling as though it might last forever, Alex wasn't sure how her heart was beating so fast without leading to a need for urgent medical attention. _Oh god,_ she'd finally _done_ it, despite all her nerves and her worries - here she was, where she wanted to be, her lips pressed against Kim's, knowing that by the time they finished her lipstick would be smudged across Kims face, like a little label, claiming her mark on Kim's pretty features. _This bit's mine. _

Her fingers locked though Kim's short crop, the soft blonde hair entwined around her fingers. She could feel Kim's hands slowly roaming up and down her back, a sensation which only served to strengthen the pulsing between her legs as she felt herself dampening further, desperate to be touched.

"Oh _god_, Kim," she breathed as the kiss slowly ended with a final nip against her lip from Kim. It make Alex growl and grasp Kim's face between her palms, pulling her back for another kiss, this time deeper, more forceful, rough and wanton. She could hear Kim groaning with sheer arousal as her hands dropped to Alex's waist which made Alex shudder and tremble. As much as she hated to and as much as she wanted to kiss to carry on all night long she needed to stop it because it just wasn't enough. She drew back, stealing the last of Kim's breath from her as she did so and watched the woman's eyelids flutter open, a look of confusion mixed with need in her eyes.

"Ma'am," she whispered breathily, her words quiet as she struggled to hold back from launching into another kiss, "what's going on?"

"What's going _on,_" Alex whispered, "is that for the last... _eighteen months_... I've been imagining this," she felt a shiver down her spine at the look of desire in Kim's eyes, "and wanting this more and more with every day that passed. And a few stolen kisses weren't enough, nor would they _ever_ be enough." She could feel her hands drawn towards Kim, desperate to explore her body again, but she tried to hold back long enough to explain. "You might think you're the one with the crush," she whispered, knowing that her face was as red as Kim had ever seen it, "but you're not the only one. And," she reached forward, gently brushing her fingers through Kim's hair, "I've never had it this bad." She leaned forward, _"ever."_

With that admission the last of Kim's defences melted away and any reservations or nerves that she had suddenly seemed powerless. She couldn't stop herself from dipping in towards Alex and kissing her again but before the kiss could deepen she whispered,

"Where do you want this to go?" terrified that the answer wouldn't be the one she dreamed of.

"You know where, Kim," Alex breathed, scarcely able to speak.

_"Say it," _Kim begged, _"I want to hear you say it."_ She _needed_ to. It felt too good to be true. She was terrified of doing the wrong thing, terrified of making a mental leap beyond Alex's expectations for the night. She looked at Alex, pleading silently to hear her say the words. With her tongue doing a lap around her lips nervously Alex steeled herself to reply and offered the words that she'd been trying to keep to herself for so long;

"_Fuck me,"_ she whispered and the groan Kim gave in return was almost inhuman, purely animalistic and born from a need that she'd been trying to bury from the moment she first laid eyes on Alex. Alex's plea drove Kim wild. It sounded so shocking and dirty coming from her '_Ma'am_', the woman she'd admired and looked up to for so many years. Although now of almost equal status and chronological age, Kim would always see her in such a light when they stood in the corridors of Fenchurch East. But in the heady atmosphere of the tattoo studio they were in Kim's domain and the look on Alex''s face told Kim one thing – it was up to her to take the lead.

It wouldn't be the first time that Kim had succumbed to a certain act on a tattooing table. Actually that had been her second time with Robin, too. What _was_ it about second times? Or was it to do with the tattooing? She felt her stomach flip with nerves quite suddenly as Alex stared at her, waiting for her to take the next step. Oh goodness, it might have been her domain but Alex was still a woman who turned Kim's legs to jelly. She had rarely felt so nervous.

She laid her palms against Alex's arms and gently pushed her backwards until she felt the side of the table against her back and sat upon it, shaking almost imperceptibly. Kim's hand gently cupped the side of Alex's face and she stared into her eyes, carefully reading her emotions. The anticipation, the need, the desire, the nervousness. Every single one of those were reflected back in Kim's. Slowly she leaned in and laid a gentle, tingling kiss upon Alex's lips, wandering slowly sideways to her cheek and then softly, languorously she moved along the side of her neck and across her shoulder blade. She could see a layer of goosepimples appear across Alex's skin in the path of her kisses.

_"I need you, Kim," _she whispered and her words drove Kim to take affirmative action, her kisses becoming firmer, harder, nipping a little at her skin as she,moved down to Alex's chest. _Ohh_, she had been waiting for that. She couldn't pretend otherwise. From the moment Alex had taken off her top she'd been trying her best to resist them but there they were, sitting like a beacon of temptation, almost taunting her with their perfection. She felt sure she gave a groan of desire as she turned Alex around and pressed her body backward to lay horizontal across the table.

It took Kim only a moment to climb up and join her, straddling her at the hips as she reached out to brush Alex's fringe from her forehead. She licked her lips hungrily as her eye line ran from Alex's beautiful face that had captivated her long ago, down to her chest where her pieced nipples stood to attention, puckered from the utmost arousal, then further down to her new ink, still fresh and sore.

"I never managed to dress your tattoo," she whispered, a cheeky smile twitching onto her lips as Alex stared at her, aghast.

"Kim! Time and place!" she protested, "Where's the romance in dress_IIIIIINGS?!_" the end of her word rose by an octave as Kim slowly ran one finger along her body beside the fresh design, sending shivers through her spine. "Oh _god_, Kim, you -" Alex closed her eyes and threw back her head as Kim moved her hands gently up and down her torso as though exploring every inch of her, careful to mind the sore skin that remained on display.

Kim noted with curiosity that their first time had occurred while Alex was quite heavily pregnant, which in itself had been a source of great arousal for Kim in itself. There was little more beautiful than a pregnant woman. But now here she was, lying before her with a whole new terrain to explore. It felt like seeing Alex's body for the first time.

She placed a hand in the centre of Alex's chest to feel her heart beating away. The sensation made her give a little gasp. The thought that her touch had sent Alex's heartrate sky high was one that excited Kim beyond words. Slowly she leaned forward and placed her lips softly against Alex's breasts, kissing them over and over, one side then the other, sucking against her skin, drawing gentle patterns with her tongue. She explored every inch of Alex's chest with her lips before touching the very tip of her tongue to Alex's nipple and gently flicking her piercing. The sounds that emerged from Alex's open mouth spurred her on further as she kissed, flicked, twisted and pulled softly on the metal bars.

"Oh_ fuck," _Alex whispered as she succumbed to the new and unusual sensations. She had to admit that when it came to her piercings Gene had been somewhat cautious about experimenting. He was worried that he would be responsible for twisting them too hard and pulling her nipple off or some such nonsense. It didn't matter how much she reassured him, he was of the firm belief that piercings were rivets to hold on certain body parts and he didn't want to be responsible for losing a nipple.

If she was honest the idea of Kim expertly handling her nipple piercings was one of the thoughts she'd been _concentrating_ on for some time. It was a fantasy that passed through her mind now and then, but she'd never expected for her fantasy to come true. Now here it was, the reality staring her right in the face and she gave a breathy gasp as Kim took her nipple into he mouth, flicked against the metal with her tongue again, then left it alone as she moved her attention to the other side.

"Don't want this one to feel left out," she whispered, brushing Alex's nipple with the top of her nose. Before Alex could catch her breath she found Kim's lips around her, once again taking the metal into her mouth and moving it carefully with her tongue. Alex took in a sharp intake of breath as she felt Kim's fingers reaching to the other side until mouth and hand were working in time to fill her body with intense sensations of pleasure that built up to a point at which she couldn't handle it and needed more.

"Kim, please," she begged when she could finally force out the words through her staggered breaths, "_Please_, Kim, I need -" she swallowed as she felt Kim take her nipple between her teeth and squeeze it gently, "Oh _god,_ I need you to touch me. Touch me _properly_," she begged.

She felt the lips and teeth abandon her nipples as Kim's hot kisses and tickly breath travelled up her neck.

"_Where?"_ Kim's voice whispered against her ear while her fringe brushed Alex's skin just for a moment.

"Kim, you know where -" Alex found it difficult to say the words as an unusual shyness overtook her. She wanted Kim to take the lead. She wanted her to show her the way but Kim needed reassurances too. This had come so out of the blue that she needed to be sure this was really what Alex wanted. As Alex opened her eyes she found Kim's blue ones staring right back into them and it filled her tummy with fluttering butterflies. She took careful hold of Kim's hand and moved it downwards until Kim found it pressed snugly between Alex's legs. Alex watched a look of sheer anticipation cross Kim's face. She pressed her hand a little harder, carefully watching Alex's reaction as her eyes closed and she let out a sigh, wriggling and writhing against Kim's fingers.

Sitting upright and still straddled across Alex's hips Kim reached for the buckle of Alex's trousers and unfastened it quickly, soon following up with the hook and the zip. She peeled away the top of the material to find red lace staring back which soon sent her cheeks the same colour.

"Was this for my benefit?" She managed to ask cheekily and Alex opened her eyes again, a slightly awkward smirk crossing her lips.

"Possibly," she said, "_although_," she could feel her own cheeks reddening again as she continued, "I think... ironically... that although they may have _possibly_ been for your benefit..." Alex found herself relaxing as she caught Kim's eye, "that it would be _more_ to your benefit... if you helped me take them _off_."

"Oh you _do_, do you?" Kim raised her eyebrow, surprised by her forwardness. She hooked her fingers around the top of Alex's trousers and shuffled into a new position between her legs to allow Alex the space to raise her knees. "I'll see what I can do then, Ma'am," she whispered, but as she began to pull the trousers downward Alex caught her hand.

"_Alex_," she corrected, with a smile, knowing full well that it was a habit Kim was never going to break.

_"Ma'am,"_ Kim corrected in return.

"Kim -"

"Otherwise I might not take orders from you," Kim told her, biting her lip, "and I might just leave these trousers right where they are."

"_Don't you dare,_" Alex breathed needfully as she pushed them down as far as she was able from her lying position. The urgency in her voice drove Kim insane and she grasped the material, pulling them down the rest of the way before throwing them to the floor. She growled wantonly as she saw the dampening of the knickers between Alex's thighs.

"You really want this," she whispered, still a little in awe, "don't you?"

She got her answer from the look in Alex's eyes.

"I want you, Kim," she whispered, and that was as much as Kim could take. She wasted no time in pulling down the lacy treat that Alex had worn for her, tossing the sticky, damp garment to the ground. She watched Alex let her knees drop to either side, allowing Kim full access. _God_, she was wet; soaking, even. Kim could see the result of all the kissing and the touching in warm, creamy abundance as she reached forward and slowly ran her fingers back and forth between Alex's legs, brushing her clit, skimming a fingertip just inside her momentarily and eliciting a gasp of surprise.

"_You're so wet, Ma'am," _she whispered and something about Kim's breathy words made Alex moan with anticipation. She found herself grinding against Kim's fingers, desperate for more but Kim wasn't in as hurry. "_Slow down Ma'am,_" she whispered, "there's no rush. There's no hurry. I just want to please you."

Alex let out a gentle cry. There was more, _so_ much more to the night than a physical yearning. The close, loving bond that had grown between them gave the whole experience a far deeper layer and she felt loved, safe and touched by Kim's words as well as by her actions. She found herself grasping the sides of the table as Kim held her legs apart and dipped in with her tongue, brushing her clit back and forth, then around and around. She lapped up the sweet tasting wetness that every touch was bringing from within Alex while every motion became more forceful, more powerful than the last. She felt Alex's whole body writhe and twitch but she tried to hold her still. Kim wanted to do the work by herself. She wanted to take control now. _Ma'am_ had given her orders. She wanted to be touched, and that's exactly what Kim was going to do.

Kim's tongue slipped inside of her and played around, the taste of Alex driving her crazy. She could feel her own desire rising with every passing second and the lower part of her body was tingling and pulsing, urging her to reach inside her jeans and take care of herself but she had to concentrate on Alex first. This was _Alex's_ night. She'd practically begged for it. Kim wasn't going to let her down.

Her tongue was growing tired but her deed was far from over so she sat up and carefully slipped the tip of her finger just inside of Alex, taking the tiny groan that the gave her as permission to carry on. She introduced a second finger, sliding them firmly inside of Alex, feeling her clench around them as though desperate to keep Kim inside of her. Kim carefully watched Alex's expression to find the spots that pleased her most. She moved her fingers slowly, in and out, a little deeper every time until they were buried deep inside and she carefully pressed and rubbed, searching for the sweet spot.

"_Fuck -"_

A gasp from Alex and Kim couldn't stop smiling as she found it; the g-spot, none too elusive. That's what she had been searching for. She remembered the last time, the way Alex's body had responded to her touch the moment she found it. She could feel the movement of her fingers becoming easier as Alex grew wetter still. Kim's pulse was racing, the thought of making Alex climax was driving her crazy in ways she had never thought possible. Kim lay beside her, adjusting the angle of her fingers so that she could keep up the pace while laying a soft, languid kiss upon her lips, sliding her tongue into Alex's mouth giving Alex a taste of herself which made Alex groan and whimper; her climax was building and her body twitching from head to toe; tingling, desperate for release, but it wasn't until Kim slid her thumb against Alex's clit that she could feel herself teetering on the edge.

_"Oh god," _she breathed, "Oh _god_, Kim, you -" she gasped for breath as the increasings sensations began to steal her ability to speak, "Kim... _fuck!" _she cried eventually, throwing her head back and leaving her body to explain everything as her hips jumped and jolted. Her orgasm struck with an intensity she hadn't felt in years. It overtook ever inch of her body, sending pins and needles through every limb, sending sparklies across her vision and sending a guttural cry from deep within her chest that left her throat hoarse from the strain.

Kim slowed the pace of her fingers as she watched Alex's climax finally begin subsiding then slipped them from her pussy, licking them softly. The sight made Alex groan again; even though her orgasm had wiped out her energy, her nether regions were still pulsating wildly and Kim's action made her year for more. _Shit_, she couldn't get enough. She'd been bottling up her feelings for so long that now she had full permission to enjoy them she wanted them to last all night long.

As she watched Kim licking her fingers again and sucking away the creamy, slippery liquid that Alex's body had created in abundance she propped herself up, trying to stop the world from spinning. Oh _god_ she needed more. She couldn't stop staring at Kim's lips, smeared with Alex's lipstick and the tell-tale remains from feasting upon her moments earlier. Alex needed to kiss those lips. She couldn't hold back. She slipped her hand behind Kim's head and gently pulled her forward, closed her eyes and tilted Kim's face towards her, kissing her softly, listening to her sigh with need. Of course, it was Kim's turn now. And she deserved it, _fuck_ she deserved all the pleasure that Alex could give after what she had done for Alex. But as she drew away Alex made an observation that seemed a little strange.

"Why are you still dressed?" She said, almost accusingly. Kim didn't reply, she didn't really know what to say. Alex took hold of the collar of Kim's shirt, one she felt sure she'd likely borrowed from Robin, and pulled her forward. _"I want to see you, Kim,"_ she whispered but as she reached towards Kim's jeans she found Kim's hands in her way,

"Ma'am," she began, looking anxious. She swallowed, "I'm sorry, I just..." her brow creased worriedly and Alex began to feel anxious.

"Kim, what is it?" she whispered, "what did I do?"

"Nothing," Kim said quickly, "it's just... you don't _have_ to -"

"I _want_ to," Alex whispered, her fingers wandering towards Kim's waist again but Kim froze up, then held her hand away.

"the thing _is_," she began quickly, her words flustered and her face red, "I-I don't want... I mean, I..." she closed her eyes and swallowed. Sometimes she really hated the way that she found herself stumbling clumsily with her words around Alex. She tried again to get out her words. "I-I feel a bit... I think I've put on weight recently... too much of Rob's cooking I guess... I just..." she could bear to look at Alex's expression, "I'm sorry, I... my jeans have been getting tighter and I just -"

"Ohhhh, _Kim_," Alex sighed, her heart sinking. How much damage had Linda done to her? Even after all that time away from her, here she was still paranoid about things that didn't matter. She found her fingers reaching out to brush Kim's red cheek, then pushed up her face to force Kim to look her in the eye as she whispered, "you're worrying about things that aren't even there."

"The change of belt notch says it's there," Kim said sadly, feeling horribly self conscious as Alex vehemently shook her head.

"_Stop,"_ she said quietly, "Kim, I wish you would believe me. You're _beautiful_. Not _Linda's_ twisted, stringent view of what's beautiful. You're _Kim_-beautiful. You're unique. _Perfect_." She noticed that Kim looked more uncomfortable and it saddened her. "Has... has all your time with Robin not even helped you to feel better in yourself?" she asked quietly. Kim looked down.

"It's not that easy, ma'am," she whispered, "I mean.. Rob... he's never wanted to change me... not like Linda did... but it's not the same, because... because no matter what the two of us mean to each other..." she looked Alex in the eye and there was a deep sadness in her expression, "Robin... he still doesn't _like_ women," she watched Alex's face change as she realised exactly where Kim was coming from, "so if he says I'm beautifuol, I know that he doesn't quite mean it... the way I _want_ him to mean it." She hung her head slowly, finally admitting something that had weighed on her mind and her heart for a very long time, "I'm still as gay as I've always been."

"Yes, I noticed that," Alex coughed and blushed a little as Kim continued.

"And although this must sound selfish, I want to know... I _need_ to know... if other women..." she swallowed, this was territory she found so hard to express, "if women still... or _ever_... find... or _found_... me attractive."

Alex stared at Kim as she lowered her head. She felt such an enormous sense of sadness, to see the girl who she found so pretty and different and so damn irresistible feeling so unattractive and undesirable. _Damn that Linda_. She knew the words that woman had put into Kim's head might never go away for good. But she _could_ do _one_ thing. There was something she had to prove to Kim.

"Hand," she commanded, and Kim looked at her curiously.

"What -?"

"Give me your hand," Alex encouraged. When Kim looked at her with a confused frown Alex took care of the task herself, grasping Kim's hand and pressing it against her chest. Kim could feel Alex's steadily pulsing heart beneath her fingers. She stared questioningly as Alex whispered,

"Keep it there, Kim. Keep it right there," then, doing her best not to knock Kim's hand away from its spot over her heart, she reached out and began to slowly unfasten Kim's buttons one by one, peeling away the material to reveal Kim's breasts, untamed and braless, the twinkling of metal glistening back at her. She could see from Kim's expression what she could feel inside of her; that her pulse was shooting up, her heart thumping harder and faster, as Kim's decorated, beautiful body was revealed, little by little. There was a little more ink than the last time Alex had seen her. It made Alex clench her legs again as she felt herself tingling with arousal. She looked Kim straight in the eye as she continued to feel Alex's heart beating and whispered,

"Do you see, Kim? Do you see the effect you have on me? Do you see how beautiful you are? How beautiful you are to other woman?" she swallowed, unfamiliar words finding their way forth, "to _me?"_

Kim could barely remove and she certainly couldn't reply. She found herself captive in Alex's gaze, frozen by the look of desire upon her face. She still finches as she felt Alex's hands roam around her waist and her insecurities came to the fore again but she didn't push her away, at least not until Alex's hands were halfway through unfastening Kim's belt. Her eyes bolted and she suddenly blocked her.

"Ma'am, _wait,_" she cried, "there's one more thing -"

Alex sighed sadly at the panic on Kim's face.

"Kim," she whispered, "didn't you just feel for yourself -"

"No, it's not that," Kim said quietly, her face turning a deeper shade of red, "it's just... I'm wearing..." she swallowed, her brow troubled, "shit, I wasn't expecting this to happen, otherwise I wouldn't... I mean, I just would have worn..."

Alex frowned, completely bewildered.

"What is it?" she asked, peering at Kim's hands still blocking her belt, "Are you going comando or something?"

"Not exactly," Kim felt more embarrassed than she could express, "well, not at _all_... I mean... I..."

As she trailed away her hands relented and abandoned the belt. Curiously Alex reached for it once again, unfastening the buckle, then unbuttoning the fly and pulling down the zip. As she began to slowly tug at the dark denim she revealed an unexpected garment.

"Oh -" she wasn't sure what else to say as a little giggle escaped.

"Ma'am, it's not _funny_," Kim protested as Alex tugged down her jeans to reveal the rest of the underwear that Kim had tried to hide.

"Are those Robin's?" Alex asked as Kim hung her head, red faced.

"Yes," she mumbled.

"Robin's boxers?"

"Yes," Kim mumbled again as Alex tried to mask another giggle.

"Robin's _Sonic the Hedgehog_ boxers?"

They were a _novelty!"_ Kim protested in shame, "I gave them to him for _Christmas!"_

"And why are _you_ wearing them?" Alex asked, her eye twinkling with amusement.

"We," Kim coughed, "_swap_ sometimes," she admitted. Alex wasn't sure she needed the image of Robin in Kim's best undies but there was something about the sight of Kim in Robin's unbuttoned shirt and _Sonic the Hedgehog _boxers that was endlessly endearing, not that she dared to say such a thing. She knew that Kim would pierce a delicate area if she dared suggest Kim was anything approaching adorable.

"_Kim,_" she whispered with a smile, shaking her head, "do you not understand?" she sighed as she cupped Kim's face in her hands again and shuffled closer, "_this_ is why people love you. This is what makes you so special." she looked her in the eye, feeling strangely tearful as she pictured Kim's transformation from immature, angry ladette to the most individual, offbeat soul she had ever met. "_Kim Stringer,"_ she said quietly, staring into her eyes and sending a shiver through every inch of Kim's body, "_you're beautiful."_

She heard an involuntary gasp leaving Kim's lips at those words as though maybe for the first time in her life she believed them. _Good_. That pleased Alex more than anything. She _wanted_ Kim to believe it. It was the truth.

She carefully pressed Kim's body backwards to lay her flat against the table and gently laid by her side, stroking back her hair. She kissed Kim softly as her confidence grew and slipped her hand down inside the _Sonic the Hedgehog_ boxers that Kim had tried so desperately to hide where she found a line of neatly trimmed hair beneath her fingers. Venturing just a little further, she found creamy, slippery signs that Kim was desperate for her touch. _Fuck_, Kim's body felt hot to the touch, as though she had a fever. Maybe she _did_, but it wasn't through feeling unwell. In fact, she'd rarely felt better.

"Oh _god_ yes," she whispered as Alex's fingers brushed her clit and sent a barrage of tingles below the waist, "_please, ma'am."_

Alex pressed her fingers a little harder against Kim and even though she barely moved them their sheer presence drove Kim crazy. It made her body twitch and she started to grind against them but Alex shook her head.

"_Fair's fair,"_ she whispered, "you wouldn't let _me."_

"_You're cruel,"_ Kim whispered, opening her eyes just long enough to throw a glare at Alex but it didn't last for long, not when Alex set her sights on removing the boxers and taking more affirmative action.

"You've going to have some explaining to do when Robin sees the state of these," Alex commented, streaks of Kim's wetness all over their inside. She dropped them to the floor and found her nerves returning. She felt so inexperienced suddenly. She froze for a moment but forced herself to go on. The last thing she wanted was for Kim to read her hesitation as rejection because she couldn't have been more wrong. Alex told herself to relax. She knew she was more nervous this time because she's arrived expecting this very thing to happen. Their first time had been different; _impulsive, sudden_, she had no time to think or to worry. She needed to concentrate on that; just going with her instincts.

Alex pressed her lips to Kim's chest, just between her breasts. She swore she could feel her heartbeat. Her eyes rose for a moment to meet Kim's as she begged Alex silently not to stop. Alex nodded, a nervous but eager smile spreading across her lips. She returned to her kissing quest, gently leaving a trail of hot, soft kisses all the way down from Kim's chest to her belly button, allowing her fingers to linger at Kim's nipples while she did so, twisting her piercings flicking them softly, trying to recall the motions that Kim had used, the ones that drove Alex wild.

From the jolts and twitches that Kim's body gave in response Alex knew that she was doing something right, but it still wasn't enough. She needed to show Kim exactly how she felt about her. She needed to please Kim in ways that she knew only a woman could. In fact, she dared to realise, she wanted to please Kim in ways only _she_ could. She needed Kim to know this wasn't a one-way crush. There was only one way she was going to prove it.

She continued her journey down Kim's body, leaving kisses all the way down her stomach and the neat little strip of hair that made Alex look up with a naughty glint in her eye.

"The collar does not match the cuffs," she commented, her eyebrow rising as she compared the dark hair with the bleached crop on Kim's head before she shuffled further down the table and let her fingertips play around Kim's slit, diving in then sweeping out, twisting just a little way inside, smearing the slippery wetness across her clit and then pushing back inside. She was careful to take things slowly and carefully, she didn't want to do anything that might hurt. As she reached a steady rhythm with her two fingers she found herself desperate to do more. Kim's eyes were closed tightly as she groaned and sighed but she knew there was more to come.

Careful not to fall off the edge of the table, Alex leaned forward and slowly ran the tip of her tongue along Kim's glistening clit, surprised by the instant jolt that ran through Kim's body. Her hips bucked and Alex heard the woman moan for more. That was it, she'd _definitely_ struck gold. She remembered their first time. Kim's most sensitive spot was undoubtedly her clit and that's where Alex was going to focus her attention. She flicked her tongue back and forth along it, experimenting with the kinds of motions that provoked the most response from Kim. She pressed her tongue against it harder, then softly, tried moving it back and forth, then around and around, all the while keeping up the pace of the two fingers she'd left inside of Kim's slippery, hot slit.

"_Oh ma'am," _Kim breathed. Something about that made Alex dampen again. She knew that Kim would never break that habit but hearing her use the name _ma'am_ in such a moment felt downright dirty.

"_What do you want, Kim?"_ she breathed, "_tell me what you want."_

"_Don't stop," _Kim whispered, "please... _please_ don't stop, Ma'am."

Alex closed her eyes as she moved her tongue against Kim's clit again, listening to every groan and moan that she enticed from the blonde. She could feel her body writhing and jumping with increasing frequency until Kim cried urgently, "Ma'am! Ma'am _stop, _I'm going to make a mess!"

Alex stopped for a second, confused by her words, but quickly realised what she meant.

"Ohhh, I almost forgot you were a squirter," she commented, noticing that Kim looked somewhat self-conscious.

"O-only sometimes," she breathed as Alex's fingers continued to work their magic, "only when I'm really..." she threw back her head as Alex's tongue dived between her legs again, "_really..." _the tremors started through Kim's groin; the throbbing and pulsing of her clit reaching out and sending a wave of pure, unrivalled ecstasy through every inch of her body. She felt herself strike her peak and there was no holding back. "Oh _god... fuck!"_ she cried, her head thrashing from one side to the other as her hips bucked and jumped. The rest of the world seemed to fade away, the only thing that mattered was the sheer power of her climax. As Alex slipped her fingers from within her, Kim felt a gush of liquid leave her body and she gave a cry of surprise. "Oh _god,"_ she cried. Even though she'd felt as though it was about to happen it never failed to take her by surprise when it did. Until Robin, the only person who'd ever made her squirt was Shaz. Alex had joined elite company.

As her orgasm started to fade and Kim returned to some semblance of lucidity she blinked a few times and looked up to see Alex gazing at her with a look Kim had never seen before.

"Ma'am?" she whispered, barely able to construct a sentence, "is... are you OK?"

Alex felt almost tearful, which she cursed herself for. That was _stupid_. She didn't need to get emotional about it. But admitting something about yourself is always a landmark moment. The fact that she received every bit as much pleasure from pleasing Kim as she had from the way Kim had touched _her_ showed Alex just how she really felt about the unique blonde with the _Sonic the Hedgehog_ boxers.

Slowly she lay by Kim's side and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close so that she could kiss her once again. She cupped Kim's face in her hands and looked deep into her blue eyes with a smile she could barely contain. She let her fingers brush the soft skin of Kim's cheek as she whispered her admission;

"I _think,"_ she breathed softly, "I _might_ be part of the Fenchurch East rainbow brigade." 

Kim gave a sudden giggle that exploded from within her. If there had been any sense of tension between them after their moment then it had surely faded away as soon as it began.

"Do you know what, Ma'am?" she said with a smile, "you've just passed your initiation with flying colors."

She laid her forehead against Alex's and closed her eyes; her heart practically exploding with contentment and joy. She had dreamed about such a moment from the day she started back at Fenchurch East.

She could honestly say it was well and truly worth the wait, and _then_ some.


	3. Something Old

**Something Old**

Alex had well and truly lost track of time as she lay with Kim, recuperating from their unexpected antics. She didn't really care what the time was as long as Kim wasn't throwing her out. The perks of being tattooed after hours – they had the place to themselves until morning. She almost groaned as she realised Gene had told her to be home by midnight. _Stupid pumpkin rule_. Well, the witching hour was still a long way away. She was sure she could think of a way to extend the night before then.

"Ma'am?" Kim's voice was quiet and thoughtful. Alex turned her head slightly to look at her.

"Yes, Kim?" she said quietly. She noticed a nervous smile on Kim's face.

"I'm not going to get an angry Gene knocking on my door tomorrow morning with a portable filing cabinet, am I?" Kim worried and Alex closed her eyes, soft laughter flowing from between her dusky, smudged red lips.

"No, Kim, you're not," she promised. She felt Kim pressing her body a little closer. "Besides, you would just pierce his arse, he'd never dare." 

"That is true," Kim agreed. She closed her eyes for a moment, exhaustion taking over her body. _Shit_, that has been one _hell_ of an orgasm. She dared to lay a hand across Alex's chest and felt her heart start to beat a little faster. That sensation made her smile.

"And I'm not going to get an angry Robin on my doorstep with eight dogs baying for blood?" Alex asked and Kim burst into laughter.

"You _know_ that's not going to happen," she said, "you're most likely to get a thankful Robin turning up to make you breakfast and polish your shoes for getting rid of me for the night."

They fell silent again until Alex shivered a little, her body temperature finally dropping after their moments of ecstasy.

"Are you cold?" Kim asked and Alex gave a reluctant nod.

"Just a little," she admitted.

"We should get dressed -" Kim began but Alex shook her head.

"Not yet," she whispered. She found herself drawn closer to Kim, warming one another as they lay together.

"I have to dress your tattoo," Kim pointed out and Alex laughed.

"Not yet," she repeated. She found herself idly tracing her fingers up and down the ink atop Kim's arm, skimming the letters that meant so much. '_I Survived'._ There was a tiny pang of anxiety in the pit of Alex's belly as she realised that the words had a different meaning now; one Kim didn't even know. She hated giving in to the anxiety that came with knowing Kim was still alive. She _was_, wasn't she? She hadn't died in the months since her arrival, had she? Somehow Alex couldn't tell with Kim. What was it that made Kim different? Was it arriving as part of Fenchurch West? Or was Kim just '_special_' somehow? There were other things, things that had occurred around her. Things Alex couldn't quite put her finger on. Things that set her apart from the others, even those who had been in her position.

Perhaps Kim _had_ died in the interim, Alex considered. After a fall like that her chances of survival, let alone recovery, were minimal. She noticed there had been a true absence of messages or bleedthroughs for Kim. Perhaps her fate in the real world had ultimately been the one she'd longed for. Alex could only pray that was the case,. The thought of losing Kim was too much to stand.

Her mind went back to another night, another time, the lonely sadness on both sides that ultimately brought a close friendship to another level. There it was again, the memory that just wouldn't go away. For so long Alex had felt guilty about thinking if it so often. Now she could allow the memory back in full technicolor, _guilt-free._

"I think this was a long time coming," she said quietly as Kim turned her head to look Alex in the eye.

"Pardon?" she asked.

"_This_," Alex said quietly, "I think we did well to wait this long."

Kim's face instantly turned three shades redder than before. _Shit, shit, shit,_ why did she keep blushing around Alex?! She felt like a complete _fool!_

"It never did feel like it was just one night," she confided.

"No," Alex agreed, her lips twitching into a smile, "it didn't."

Kim bit her lip for a moment. There were questions she felt the need to ask but was a little afraid of the reply.

"What did the Guv say?" she asked eventually, "when you first told him?"

Alex closed her eyes and took a very slow, deep breath.

"Well," she whispered, "it wasn't the easiest day."

"i didn't think it would be," Kim said quietly, reaching for Alex's hand. It was a gesture that took Alex by surprise; Kim Stringer holding someone's _hand? _She almost made a comment but didn't want the girl to feel any more self-conscious than she already did so she simply squeezed it back and made Kim smile.

"It was a little more complicated that that though," Alex told her, "you see, Gene..." she sighed and shook her head, "unfortunately he'd had a little taste of what it was like to enter the Coma Club."

"Ahhh, an exclusive establishment," Kim agreed.

"And he'd had a... _minor indiscretion_ of his own."

Kim found herself half-sitting up on surprise.

"He did?" she asked quickly. Alex nodded. "With who?"

Alex looked down, a little bewildered still.

"As strange as this might sound," she began, "it was with me. _Another_ me. He did some fast talking and convinced her to listen to his..." she shook her head, "s_trange tales_ of other worlds. And I suppose the silver tongue works on all Alex Drakes across the stratosphere."

Kim stared at her, slightly aghast, unsure how to respond. She took a few moments and then decided to swear.

"Shit... _bugger,"_ she shook her head, "what happened? What did you say?"

"It was... _difficult_," Alex admitted, "we'd both been unfaithful, both lost and far from home. And we really had to agree to leave it at that. We had to accept it had happened. We'd been in the same boat. More or less." Alex began to trace the ink on Kim's arm again as she continued, "of course Gene seemed more pissed off that it happened to be _you_ than the fact that I'd been unfaithful."

"That does _not_ surprise me," Kim admitted.

Alex found herself linking her fingers between Kim's, drawing her hand up to kiss it gently, a gesture which sent a shiver down Kim's spine and brought an involuntary smile to her lips. She looked at her seriously as she said quietly,

"I think Gene was conflicted. There was the part of him that was picturing me doing things he'd only seen in top-shelf videos," she sighed, "and then the part of him that resented the fact that I'd been," she felt herself starting to blush, "doing them with _you_ instead of _Ginger Spice."_

Kim tried not to laugh but the thought of Gene's dilemma was somewhat amusing.

"I do seem to remember him reaching for a cushion after the, um," she coughed, "christmas dare."

Alex smiled distantly as her fingers wandered to Kim's hair, roaming leisurely through her bleached crop. She could smell some kind of fruit-scented styling product and felt a little shiver as she realised the smell would _always_ remind her of that night. She could picture herself smiling and blushing whenever Kim was a little too close at work. The thought was making her feel all kinds of excitement.

"Eventually we both worked through what had happened in other worlds," Alex told Kim, feeling awkward about using terminology that was better suited to Simon and Robin having a conversation about their favourite Red Dwarf episodes, "but I know that what happened with _us_..." she knew it, she knew she was going to start blushing. There was that sense of heat over her cheeks again. _Damnit_! "it was different to Gene's infidelity." She bit her lip a little as Kim caught her eye. "What was it you said about Robin and Jake?" she said, her voice wavering a touch as she whispered, _"it meant something._" Alex could see she wasn;t the only one blushing any more. Actually, that felt strangely good. She _liked_ the fact that her words had such an effect on Kim. Kim deserved it, she deserved to feel good, happy, flattered, all of the above.

"For me too," Kim whispered, strangely shy.

"I never thought that I would see you again," Alex whispered, "after you -" she swallowed, "after you helped me home," she grasped Kim's hand, "which... I can never, _ever_ thank you enough for."

"It's not something I _need_ thanking for," Kim told her softly, "you had to get home, Ma'am." she swallowed, "and I think that's the reason I had to stay behind..." she closed her eyes, "...when Rob was shot in the jewellery shop, and the car hit me. You thought I'd been there too." she shook her head, "I had to stay, because I had to send you home."

Alex felt tearful as she stared at Kim lying by her side and nodded very slowly.

"Yes," she whispered, "I think you're right." She fell silent as she ran her fingers along Kim's decorated arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps from her soft touch. "And then one day," she whispered, "there you were." she saw Kim looking awkward and strained, "back in this world." she swallowed and stared at Kim. "You saved me."

"Not in time," Kim whispered, the truth still painful.

"He could have _killed_ me, Kim, he could have done far worse than he did." Alex felt her heart starting to race again as she whispered, "I needed you and you were there," her mouth grew dry as a realisation came upon her, "you're _always_ there." The times that Alex was lost or alone or in danger and Kim had been the one to help... it seemed as though the list was everlasting. It brought Alex the need to be closer to Kim again. She _had_ to kiss her, there was no other option. There was no other way to express the way her revelation made her feel. She gently cupped Kim's face and tilted it towards her, laid her lips against Kim's and kissed her so softly, so slowly that Kim felt that the kiss might just last forever. _Fuck_, she wished that was possible. When Alex finally drew away she stared Kim in the eye and whispered softly, "_my guardian angel."_

"I think you're mine," Kim whispered back, the memory of the day Alex helped her home still so strong after all those years.

Alex's fingers moved gently back and forth against Kim's cheek.

"When you came back to this world... even though you were..." she swallowed. There was no need to spell it out; that Kim had been trapped by her actions to spend her days in Fenchurch West. "...Well, Gene was thrown. While you were a world away he could imagine me with any Spice Girl of his choosing. But when you were _here_..." she trailed away and frowned, "actually, he was more concerned that you had his car."

"That _really_ doesn't surprise me," Kim told her.

"It broke my heart," Alex whispered.

"The car?" Kim frowned but Alex shook her head.

"To see you trapped by Keats," she whispered, "I didn't know how to help you." 

"You couldn't ma'am, _no_ one could," Kim whispered, her voice laden with emotion, "but you never gave up on me. Not you, not Rob... _none_ of you. And little by little you helped me to break free," she bit back tears. This wasn't a night for sadness. She looked at Alex and whispered, "you had an interesting way of working on me, Ma'am."

Alex bit her lip and felt a tiny smile growing.

"I am sure that was the most inappropriate kiss I have ever delivered in my life," she said, her face reddening again.

"Ma'am, your face has turned red more times than a traffic light," Kim teased and Alex laughed.

"Do you see, Kim?" she said accusingly, "and you think _you're_ the one with the crush!" She laughed out loud as she watched Kim's face changing colour, "Oh, so it's your turn to blush is it now, DCI Stringer?"

"As long as you never mention it to another soul," Kim warned, "it is not good for my credibility!" she had to smile as Alex laughed and linked her fingers through Kim's again. They fell silent for a few moments as Kim thought back. She wasn't sure she'd ever told Alex from her own side before. "I told Rob just after he woke up," she said quietly, aware that Alex's eyes were trained on her. "I-I thought he was going to be angry. I got pissed off with him for not being jealous enough." She could feel Alex trying not to laugh. "But like I said, things are different for us. It was never going to be a normal situation. And that's when we talked about..." she shrugged slightly, "the kind of thing Robin and Jake have. Back then it was all, you know... pie in the sky. Rob finds it hard to get that close to anyone. He was really lucky to meet someone that he felt that close to again."

"Even though it took about four of us to push them together?" Alex smiled, remembering Christmas.

Kim giggled.

"Poor Rob, he felt as though there'd been a big conspiracy at the time. But they were never going to get off their arses and do it, so -"

"They're not the only ones though," Alex said quietly, "are they?"

She noticed Kim looking away, slightly uncomfortably.

"Well, that's a very different case," she said softly.

Alex closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Kim's.

"I talked with Robin about it once," she said quietly. She felt Kim move back in surprise.

"About... what?"

"What happened with us," Alex told her softly, "I was worried that we needed to clear the air, but..." she shook her head, "it was just never an issue."

"He was teasing me about tonight," Kim told Alex, "making out that he wasn't going to see me until the morning."

"He's not stupid, that fiancé of yours," Alex told her.

Kim bit her lip.

"Is... _is_ he going to see me before morning?" she asked.

Alex hesitated and gave a deep sigh.

"Gene says he wants me home by midnight," she said, "in case I turn into a _pumpkin_." She frowned. "Why is _everyone_ intent on turning me into a _pumpkin_ today?" she bit her lip. "However, he also set me a rather in-depth homework task."

"A what?" Kim frowned.

"He wants a six page essay on my favourite Spice Girl," Alex told her. She looked accusingly at Kim as she giggled, "this was one of the conditions of being _here_, young lady! I need to do my homework!"

"You haven't even started it yet," Kim teased.

"I always _did_ leave it to the last minute," Alex smiled.

Kim bit her lip. She knew she shouldn't ask but she couldn't help herself. The clock was ticking and she couldn't let the evening end. Not yet.

"Call the Guv," she said, "and say you're _staying over with a friend,"_ she let her fingers wander around Alex's waist, "who is helping you with your homework."

Alex hesitated, pursing her lips thoughtfully. She looked at the twinkle in Kim's eye and her stomach did a somersault. Oh _god_, when Kim looked at her that way there was no escape. Not that she _wanted_ to escape. Her face was flushing again.

"Well," she began slowly, "if you don't mind helping me revise the finer points of Posh Spice," she propped herself up a little, "then I'll see if I'm allowed to," she coughed awkwardly, _"stay over."_

Kim smirked, her heart pounding.

"The phone is over there," she pointed through to reception and Alex began to sit upright, "Uh, but just before you go -"

Alex hesitated.

"What?"

Kim smiled.

"Dressings."

Alex closed her eyes and laughed out loud.

"You, Kim Stringer, never change," she told her. She looked her right in the eye. "And I am _so_ glad of that fact."


End file.
